First night in Monte Cristi
I’m sitting here with a brain block. Listening to the music blaring from the car across the street. Feeling the cool breeze just after the rain. Watching the sunset on the palm trees in the yard next door. All I can smell is ocean. All of these senses and my mind is still on hold.
I feel a sense of comfort. If you told 19-year-old me that one day, I would be completing my Bachelor of Education program in the Dominican Republic, I would have laughed. But isn’t that what makes this life so great? Tomorrow, you could sleep in an extra 5 minutes or turn left instead of right and your whole world could be different. Different in a way you may never have thought before.
It seems surreal to me that we could live our whole lives thinking that we are happy when really, we are comfortable. We are comfortable in the same house with the same job with the same workout regime that we quit and start again 50 times. We are so used to the acknowledgement of others that we begin to live for them. We continue down the path of needing a high paying career because we think this is what will make our family and friends proud of us. Ya’ll, I’m going to be real honest with you when I say that this was me. I was going to school in a behaviour, cognition and neuroscience program because I wanted the fancy title. I wanted to be higher than my peers and to achieve more than everyone thought I could. Guys, it was hard. In that program, I learned the most interesting things but forgot them 20 minutes later. I’ll tell you one important thing about me- my memory is garbage. Trying to remember every part of your brain, what they do and everything they control, along with hormones and cells and blah blah blah. It was a nightmare. But I knew that if I graduated with this fancy title (even though I had no idea where I wanted to go after I graduated), people would see me in a bright light of intelligence.
I was 20 years old when I decided to go on a trip with my dad to the Dominican Republic. I was hesitant at first because my dad and I are a lot alike. I thought that 7 days together might be like being in a room with myself for 7 days and I didn’t know if that was a good idea or if it might cause me to lose my mind. Also, I had recently ended a long-term relationship and I didn’t know if I was ready to leave home for this long.
I decided to go.
This trip not only introduced me to the organization that changed my life, but it started to form me into a totally different person. A bit of advice, travel. I know that everyone tells you to get out of your hometown and see the world and as a teenager, you think “why would I go away to have fun when I can party with my life-long friends in a town where everyone knows me?”. Trust me, I hear you. But if I can leave you with one sentence that sticks in your mind after reading this, let it be this one: Pieces of who you are, are scattered throughout the world. I know that not everyone gets the privilege to travel and I understand that sometimes, you need to be in the house you grew up in, surrounded by the people who love you but I promise you that if you get the chance to move, travel, grow yourself in ANY sort of way, take it.
Here I am, sitting in Monte Cristi, an ocean away from home, and all I can think about is that scared 20-year-old girl who was so weighted down by other people’s opinions of her. I did not go one day without considering what someone might think of me. I am now 24 years old and I am graduating from an education that I remember once saying I would never even go into. May I quote the conversation I had with a friend who was applying for teacher’s college at the time: “You’re going to teachings college? Ou, I’ll never become a teacher”-Me.
I actually said that!
LIFE. IS. CRAZY.
Sometimes, I still feel a hand on my shoulder trying to push me down when I read comments on social media or when my friends look drop dead gorgeous and I look like I just rolled out of bed. But what I’ve learned? A lot. I’ve learned that just because someone is beautiful, it does not mean that you are not. There is not one type of beauty in this world and lordy, I am thankful for that because if sure you guys can relate when I say that 9 times out of 10, my beauty does not come from the outside. I’ve learned that if you smile at someone, chances are they will smile back. I’ve learned that if you are nice to someone, chances are they will be nice to you. If you help someone, chances are they will return the favour. Yes, sometimes people do not fall into these categories but life goes on man. Can we let the actions and opinions of other people sway us into becoming who we are? Who we want to be and who we are meant to be?
No ma’am.
Get out there and say yes. Say yes to that opportunity that scares the s*** out of you. Say yes to bettering yourself and becoming the person you truly want to be. The world needs shape shifters and game changers and we need strong people who are willing to say yes in the face of adversity. Retrain your brain to be happy for people instead of envious. Think about traits you like about someone instead of things you don’t like. Strengths instead of weaknesses. It’s taken a long time for me to think in a way that reflects my best self. Looking at people’s beauty and using my heart instead of my judgement. This being said, I now notice when others are judging someone in a negative manner right away because I have adjusted my own way of thinking to only think about the good things. Guys, it’s not easy but it’s possible. Everyone is beautiful, including you.
Let’s radiate love.
Mine is coming to you all the way from the DR.
xo